The 🌺 Lotionese Empire🌺 of Lotion Empire is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Lubey II Privykia with an iron fist, and renowned for its ban on automobiles, fear of technology, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 13.44 billion Lotionese are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Petrograd. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Lotionese economy, worth a remarkable 5,912 trillion Ludons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 439,909 Ludons, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

War criminals are given full state funerals, the nationalistic national anthem inspires citizens to literally spit at foreigners, colonial subjects have Lotionese culture shoved down their throats, and citizens live in superstitious fear of the mysterious glowing clouds that float over Lotion Empire. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lotion Empire's national animal is the Black Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Orthodox.

Lotion Empire is ranked 60^th in the world and 5^th in The North Pacific for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector, scoring 192,165.6 on the Charon Conveyancy Index.