by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 27thMost Subsidized Industry: 169thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 332nd
The Los'onyy Imperiya of
Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Liberal Dictatorship
Prevyshe vsego! Smert' tem, kto protivostoit nam!
Los'on Vasya Privykia IV
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Lotion Empire

Population5.385 billion

LeaderLos'on Vasya Privykia IV
FaithSecular State

AnimalGolden Eagle

The Los'onyy Imperiya of Lotion Empire is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Los'on Vasya Privykia IV with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, fear of technology, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.385 billion Lotionese are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Los'ongrad. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Lotionese economy, worth a remarkable 1,346 trillion Ludons a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an amazing 250,048 Ludons, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 741,282 per year while the poor average 66,209, a ratio of 11.2 to 1.

Lotionese are wondering where have all the flowers gone, Los'on Vasya Privykia IV's latest speech included a bizarre reference to MaxWow incontinence pads being 50% more absorbent than the next leading brand, national stress about the waning heir-line is causing a rise in alopecia, and vacationing Lotionese expect to be treated as royalty. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lotion Empire's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Secular State.

Lotion Empire is ranked 174,994th in the world and 8,881st in The North Pacific for Best Weather, with -78 Meters Of Sunlight.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 27thMost Subsidized Industry: 169thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 332ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 359thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 368thMost Corrupt Governments: 838thLargest Black Market: 1,102ndMost Influential: 1,575thMost Primitive: 1,757thMost Efficient Economies: 1,774thTop
Rudest Citizens: 1,844thLargest Mining Sector: 1,857thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,125thMost Avoided: 2,451stLargest Governments: 2,707thHighest Average Incomes: 3,288thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,667thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,455thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,941stMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,984thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,460thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,994thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 8,297thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 8,356thLowest Crime Rates: 8,581stTop
Most Ignorant Citizens: 9,672ndHighest Economic Output: 11,405thLargest Welfare Programs: 15,222ndMost Advanced Public Education: 17,355thMost Devout: 17,701st
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 18th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 37th in the regionLargest Black Market: 40th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 52nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 53rd in the regionMost Primitive: 65th in the regionMost Avoided: 79th in the regionTop
Most Efficient Economies: 96th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 100th in the regionRudest Citizens: 108th in the regionLargest Governments: 120th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 142nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 153rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 157th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 173rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 180th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 285th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 310th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 330th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 346th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 363rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 430th in the regionTop
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 490th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 530th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 568th in the regionMost Influential: 579th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 679th in the regionMost Devout: 820th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 864th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 282 » Territorio di Nessuno, McMasterdonia, Xagill, Alunya, Runeda, Dar es Saalam, Sunto, Corfad, 5 kingdoms of Britannia, Sundred, Advancia-Sizzletown, Shibutani, Notyoutopia, Orado, The Rhein States, 2 and 2 is Fish, Fendlium, Miruma, Pazair, Loutsland, Trillius, Great Bights Mum, Viridiann, Guer Aike, Glurponia, Koda-Land, Steampunk Ariel, Eravonia, Dreadton, North Bratislava, Frances Francis the First of France, Amauri, Newpromisedland, Abject Ludicrosity, Sockmanland, Ravendi, New Bremerton, Zumlandia, Dabarastan, United Kahndaq, New Atlantico, Selfgradatude, Kasazzastan, Daiz, Holy Oranz, Abiswashyo-bhumi, Seenvorland, Yaorozu, Omnistria, Eri-Maqa-Ena, and 232 others.Siwale, The Tampa Bay Rays, Zyvetskistaahn, Vincone Cae, Destructive Government Endorsing System, New Octicarg, PlanetPunk, Interdimensional Zone, United Anglo-America, 1 very fast endotarter, Ereena, Kranostav, Wineclaw, Zecit, Xentherida, Sil Dorsett, Bearical, Ponantine, Ethnon, Empy, Republic of Amal, New Trisone, Western Vapia, Black Templares, Valhalla123, Shadowrik, Drutopia Insomnia, Aratani, Castle Federation, Wodan, Vloetia, Rwekazaland, Partax, El Fiji Grande, Terban Kedah, Fizban, The Navy Blue, Anungu, Palgo, Pallaith, Gnomewatchers, Baldova, The Iron Lions, U S Eh, Aenglaland, Misthas, General COE, Mazeoftime, OuterGalactic Banking Clan, Valshire, Valentine Z, Praeceps, Infinitis, Kwaj, Umuyyad, Babacar, Malta Comino Gozo, Volstokn, Serendipita Martia, Angshire, The Windmilluminati, Cobleck Weleis, Arlens Apartment, Revolutionary Sealand, Lungha, Miamington, Loli County, Lazadonil, Francois Isidore, Jasminlandia, Imperial Joseon, Avemterra, Napnomadia, Tachycardia, Navigator Islands, Makersaulache, Arimbia, Azzarel, Aetulia, Chukstik Illahi, Angwayster, Aezus, Alice Gardens, Brandenburg-Ansbach, Altivia, Clan Spaniel, Asgardira, Adehgord, Centromuria, Cape Flower, Cloydicia, Banabistan, Aroa, Ceansint, Atlentiania, Cobrallstain, Alamei, Central Ryal, British Pacific Islands, Bublin, Blackphir, Antiyard, Cinnibar, Altmeros, Aeurithianar, Wolfanomia, Kulgatha, Aeolist, Antef, Choistan, Aque Weandy, Bonjoura, Texas States, God Leon, AJTON, Austral States of America, Hamerica, Calamazo, Fayyayid, Free Culture, PotatoFarmers, Merconitonitopia, Changjo, Asintion, JesseltonTM, BrightFutures, Solmetria, Valatic Ash, Sairseal, Wilkshire, Freyford, Moubarakistan, Antineum, Porlock, Kelvaros Prime, Beta Cyndriel, Vernest Quill, Noahs Second Country, Mitosisopolis, Yokciq Empire, Vivanco, Dakota Territories, Universal State Formula, Pheonisland, Eraver, Woodsend, Hyphen, The New Communist Republic Of States, New Biryukova, Haminkwarea, Tedonia, Wit Noreis, Outer Bay, Liberate World Order, Prigert, Esylara, Koala Park, Khoik, The Stratosphere Islands, MiaryBhalzhack, The Jerichowan Country, ChristianVille of the USA, The Endless Eventide, New Jamgra, The Austro Germanic Union, Melkmeid, Mandexia, Lendara, Eurasian Foederatio, Stone Ira, Minuda, Votak Matim, Godwanna, Joodey, Psychotic Vegans, KhalChicken, New Lakemba, Bojacks and Jills, The World Capitalist Confederation, Bala Mantre, Yohannes, Spades Atlantic, Jellies Island, Banana Rat, Marrinia, Olofin, Ihese, SherpDaWerp in TNP, The Lancerian Empire, Reyalda, Staku, Bhigham, Dorito Dust, Diodone, Crader, Lybirit, Underium, Land of the Cross, Plangainer, Infantivore, The Galactic Triumvirate, AAA Provisional Empire, Abonland, Harrys, Manticore utopia, SORT, Lemonbiscuits, Morover, Yukti, Nisastria, Novanoke, Avastate, Orven, Nistriabar, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Westinor, Greifenburg, The Sansvich, Sachi, Dangine, Balaslandia, The Reorganized Arctic Territories, Nora Rexa, Zokk, Varola, Ozstan, Coluazuela, Blatobal, Some Random TNP Nation, UnShleepd, United Federation of Murica, and Irishvan.

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