The Ephyrus Pyre of The Black Cathedral is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Khan Carolus Ironhorse with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, state-planned economy, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.883 billion Ephyrans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while International Aid and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ephyra. The average income tax rate is 95.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Ephyran economy, worth a remarkable 6,216 trillion Gallons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 417,703 Gallons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

City-slickers are jelly of all the farmland the government is giving away, running a hot dog stand is harder than achieving a doctorate, clothing with a scarlet S is popular among repentant body shamers, and the nation's museums are real penny-pinchers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Black Cathedral's national animal is the Gormling, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is None.

The Black Cathedral is ranked 310,525^th in the world and 4,739^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring -45 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.