The Onward Light of Kaschovia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Albus Karelka III with a fair hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, enslaved workforce, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 10.584 billion Kaschovians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kaiseva. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 27.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Kaschovian economy, worth a remarkable 3,081 trillion Kaschis a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 291,128 Kaschis, with the richest citizens earning 7.0 times as much as the poorest.

A mushroom a day keeps the sadness away, deceased politicians spam the public with thousands of AI-generated voicemails, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters, and school teachers check the staff room for hidden webcams before complaining about rebellious students. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Kaschovia's national animal is the Kulevian Butterfly, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Kaschovia is ranked 6,246^th in the world and 187^th in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 6,519.48 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.