The Kingdom of Elnir is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by King Melock II with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, parental licensing program, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate population of 5.396 billion Elrins have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Darthrond. The average income tax rate is 89.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Elrinian economy, worth 938 trillion Elns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 173,791 Elns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

In coastal waters there are fifteen salvage divers per dead man's chest (yo ho ho), a firework a day does not in fact keep the doctor away, beloved cartoon icon Mikkey Lynx writhes after eating Elns, and public buses smell like litter boxes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Elnir's national animal is the Lynx, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Αtheism.

Elnir is ranked 1,948^th in the world and 70^th in The North Pacific for Most Secular, with 99.1 Atheism Rate.