The Republic of Old Emporia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Elizabeth with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, hard-working population of 5.598 billion Old Emporians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Education, although Industry, Environment, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Rapture. The average income tax rate is 32.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Old Emporian economy, worth 668 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 119,349 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The countryside is shrouded by wind farms, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles', party leaders rely on horoscopes to create "ticket balance", and stoned tourists don't tend to remember much about their holidays here. Crime is totally unknown. Old Emporia's national animal is the Crow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Old Emporia is ranked 56,231^st in the world and 2,617^th in The North Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 492.64 on the Clooney Contribution Index.