The Unpleasant Drainpipe of Gurou is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Bronzefishy with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, complete lack of prisons, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 14.115 billion Gurouans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Welfare and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of WiyNei. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Gurouan economy, worth a remarkable 3,329 trillion Iousies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 235,876 Iousies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Libraries are refusing to stock A Midsummer Night's Dream because it has an ass in it, withdrawal of support for drug addicts is leaving many with cold sweats, children playing with walkie-talkies are told to 'get a job', and doughnut-makers claim their products are healthy because they are fortified with vitamins. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gurou's national animal is the Deadly Garden Snake, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Worship of Omnipotent Danger Noodle.

Gurou is ranked 301,024^th in the world and 5,425^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -310.74 on the Scary Big Number Scale.