The Federation of Chechno-Kalimovski is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Akhmat Magomadov with a fair hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, avowedly heterosexual populace, and spontaneously combusting cars. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 7.842 billion Chechno-Kalimovskians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The medium-sized, corrupt, outspoken government prioritizes Industry, with Defense, Education, and Welfare also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Akhmatkala. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Chechno-Kalimovskian economy, worth 873 trillion Chechno-Kalimovskian Rubles a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 111,373 Chechno-Kalimovskian Rubles, with the richest citizens earning 6.9 times as much as the poorest.

Akhmat Magomadov can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees, politicians who misplace decimal points on expense reports are fired for gross incompetence, the Chechno-Kalimovski Enquirer offers weekly cash prizes for 'most blasphemous song, story, or cartoon', and Court TV ratings have skyrocketed now that executions are filmed on location. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Chechno-Kalimovski's national animal is the Borz, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Islam.

Chechno-Kalimovski is ranked 72,502^nd in the world and 944^th in The North Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 12.35 Obesity Rate.