The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by King Montebad II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, frequent executions, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 24.645 billion Onitonites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality, Environment, and Healthcare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Onitonite economy, worth an astonishing 13,450 trillion virtues a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 545,784 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The hills are alive with the smell of burning flesh, the nationalistic national anthem inspires citizens to literally spit at foreigners, caps with skulls on them are the height of fashion, and innocent people are routinely stoned to death by frenzied lynch mobs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Mandaeism.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 13,155^th in the world and 301^st in The North Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 6,809.32 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.