The United Socialist States of Span is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by M Shobacus Maz with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, infamous sell-swords, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 47.761 billion Spanners are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Maz. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Spanner economy, worth an astonishing 14,752 trillion spannies a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 308,888 spannies, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Jabbing a baby's bottle at officials gets parents waved straight through immigration, every product goes through extensive safety-testing by the government, politicians tend to speak more loudly and slowly these days, and older citizens lament over the loss of law and order. Crime is totally unknown. Span's national animal is the donkey, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Span is ranked 47^th in the world and 4^th in The North Pacific for Most Pacifist, with 418.6 cheeks turned per day.