The Archaic Black Hand of Antifladia is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Archibald Crump with an even hand, and notable for its fear of technology, otherworldly petting zoo, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed population of 1.475 billion Bourdains are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Calzonia. The average income tax rate is 80.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Antifladian economy, worth 124 trillion Rämsæs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 84,171 Rämsæs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

CEOs are forced to cut coupons during important conference calls to make ends meet, fiscal policy hawks decry the sizable "panem et circenses" fund added to the public budget, millions of devastated 7-year-olds are denied astronaut and ballerina training, and it takes a village to catch a criminal. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Antifladia's national animal is the Mooshroom Cow, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Unitresticaphilostic Xorphaglisticism.

Antifladia is ranked 203,895^th in the world and 3,234^th in the South Pacific for Most Secular, with 15.8 Atheism Rate.