The United Protectorate of Tepertopia is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Gerhard von Selingen with a fair hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, aversion to nipples, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 14.576 billion Tepertopians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Happelstein. The average income tax rate is 3.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tepertopian economy, worth a remarkable 3,596 trillion Crowns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 246,735 Crowns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume, posing for pictures is an integral part of military training, bin lorries have replaced birds as the source of the dawn chorus, and orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Tepertopia's national animal is the Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cake Supremacy.

Tepertopia is ranked 6,560^th in the world and 98^th in the South Pacific for Highest Average Incomes, with 246,735.02 Standard Monetary Units.