The Tin of Holy Free is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Trinal XI with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 13.898 billion Freians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lordinia. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Holy Freean economy, worth a remarkable 1,710 trillion Freeses a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 123,045 Freeses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

A teen dramedy has been taken off air because the main villain is a man, the military recognizes no difference between male and female soldiers, female smokers cut their hair and don suits to get into male-only clubs, and estate agents justify funky smells by revealing how often the previous owners showered. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Holy Free's national animal is the Jaguar, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Holsanism.

Holy Free is ranked 34,261^st in the world and 562^nd in the South Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 69,991.28 Standard Monetary Units.