The Tin of Holy Free is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Trinal XI with an iron fist, and notable for its teetotalling pirates, fear of technology, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 13.935 billion Freians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lordinia. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Holy Freean economy, worth a remarkable 1,736 trillion Freeses a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 124,645 Freeses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Scientists pester asteroids with probes until they go away, animated characters are allowed to stab each other but not hold hands, people think garlic bread counts as one of their "five a day", and 4-year-olds studying for their mathematics exams are anxious that they will be unemployable in adulthood if they fail. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Holy Free's national animal is the Jaguar, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Holsanism.

Holy Free is ranked 1,051^st in the world and 29^th in the South Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 15,392.67 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.