The Grand Duchy of Bapaving is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Tupou I with a fair hand, and remarkable for its digital currency, smutty television, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.683 billion Bapavingians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vaihitahi. The average income tax rate is 98.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Bapavingian economy, worth a remarkable 1,777 trillion specks a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 204,655 specks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Embarrassed police officers wear spandex and carry net guns, newspaper stories fill several pages with colorful adjectives, entomologists flock to Vaihitahi for its remarkable gadfly population, and voters must decide whether to go number one or number two. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bapaving's national animal is the red-footed tortoise, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the Christian Church of the East.

Bapaving is ranked 304,331^st in the world and 4,083^rd in the South Pacific for Fattest Citizens, with 3.37 Obesity Rate.