by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 36thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 123rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 143rd
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Liberal Dictatorship
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Eastern Pacific Police Service Commissioner | Vizier
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population25.175 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, keen interest in outer space, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 25.175 billion geriatrics are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Environment are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth a remarkable 8,609 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 341,996 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 40,252nd in the world and 1,199th in The East Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 69.52 on the Human Development Index.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 36thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 123rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 143rdLargest Insurance Industry: 208thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 236thMost Influential: 321stHighest Disposable Incomes: 442ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 578thHighest Economic Output: 686thLargest Agricultural Sector: 704thMost Corrupt Governments: 831stLowest Overall Tax Burden: 867thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,167thHighest Average Incomes: 1,380thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,432ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,547thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,622ndLowest Crime Rates: 2,269thTop
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 2,417thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,710thLargest Black Market: 3,091stLargest Mining Sector: 3,239thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,386thMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,678thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3,903rdLargest Populations: 4,177thBest Weather: 5,202ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,658thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6,866thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 6,880thFattest Citizens: 6,978thLargest Governments: 7,025thMost Secular: 9,071stTop
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,956thLongest Average Lifespans: 16,088thMost Efficient Economies: 16,963rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,688thLargest Information Technology Sector: 20,987thHighest Drug Use: 23,885th
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4th in the regionMost Influential: 4th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 5th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 7th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 10th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 14th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 15th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 22nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 32nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 33rd in the regionLargest Populations: 33rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 44th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 49th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 56th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 64th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 66th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 73rd in the regionTop
Largest Mining Sector: 86th in the regionLargest Black Market: 94th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 114th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 134th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 142nd in the regionBest Weather: 164th in the regionFattest Citizens: 183rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 184th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 186th in the regionLargest Governments: 191st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 223rd in the regionMost Secular: 315th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 375th in the regionTop
Highest Drug Use: 453rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 501st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 503rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 504th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 576th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 631st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 785th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 489 » Brotherland, Todd McCloud, East Malaysia, La xinga, Marrabuk, Dragons Blood, Plazland, Pakitsk, Kelssek, Barfleur, Interdimensional Waifus, ReeK, Headpat Central, FreedomIand, VW53Aland, Iodinia, Enlil, Servants of Gizmo, Freedomindia, Dragonia, North Insomnia, New Bradenia Ghost, Seri Tai Republic, Taurora, Amjedia, A Slanted Black Stripe, Monteconstance, Kangarawa, Squarist Republic of Squaria, Unger under over, H-Zhena, Zukchiva, Wanabe, Goodnamesarerare, Abtracnt, 3 14159265358979323846264, The island of Kiria, Edmontia, HinduRashtr, Slonful, Bharatewa, Merlovich, Zang0, Squid Ruinosa, Wiranath, Talitoa, Aussiestan, Tretrid, Staynes, Distro-Spartica, and 439 others.Axdel, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, Azureano, Bachtendekuppen, Of Centralist Brexit, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, The Three States of Fortuna, Khadah, Meagharia, Roissyland, BuciLand, West Nagato, Nurmani, Spiruvania, Tassirion, Arkalarius, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Ribanzi, Airrajul, The Death Syndicate, Peatiktist, Elejamie, Imperial Akatsuki, Adioration, Fellon, Slys Paws, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Wapl, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, New Amerindia, Bai Lung, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Malayku, Hexyia, Collective Individualism, Chria Deau, The Almighty Country, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Sheelberite, Firenation91, Lundenia, Lyontisia, The Soviet Space Commie Union, Grossvietnam, Ridann, Rokaku, Drunken Seal Islands, Kampf Empire, Lurolona, Cameronia Excellentia, The Empire of Rijelv, The solar ottomans, Upper Ellisse, New Ailartsua, Harro Waarudho, Sen Jast, Adavan, Turbo Bolt, United China Nation, Wisdoms and Knowledges, Santa Dystopia, Arouran, The United Asian Republics, Am Echad, Duracell, Federated States of Zootron, Propwash, Rhealaliit, Slongs, The New Tace, Packilvania, Raneve Brusertheatel, Icelandic Imperium, German South-East Africa, Sengsara, Bakaworld, The Militarius Imperium, Dreamersistan, Kyrtizhan, Trulu, Biggstonia, Enou, Narinoland, Hokolokia, Kublam, Khvetsch, CopyCato, Merkez, Jamitri, Kristanya, Holy Alasia Orozen, Centrical Union, Lantros, Kucia, Lorynia, Janoobi Jazair, Noreds Thereneuthene, Bullpups, Southern Yugoslavia, Kagorg Bra Corna, Kelsyth, Werglum, Socialist Holy American Empire, Survivoristan, Joundia, Konneticut, Kianhua, Vannah, New Liberitad, Dannemarie, Federation of Knights, Techny, Hizuru, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Islandian Free States, Greater Frost, The Green Blade, Amerminetos, Aihon, Sunsistan, LIGHT-STARS, Eastern Hyront Scassen, Rhothstan, Rainbow Vests, Harmonic Yeetlandia, Impaxia, Conqerica, Pokoreniye, Pekweng, Yuritoria, Komiker Mawrysharken, Mundiferrum, Imprisoned Freeman, Generousity, Samaltak True, Canthuria, Greater Emco Uns, Tri Lita, ArenaC, CANZUK 1, Stellar Colonies, Layngderfleethe, Debluu, United Order Republic, Dorles, Soirwren, The Rapubbaland, Monezambique, Empire of Dabiristan, CheeseBurrito, Wallenburg, Dravida India, Washingtonian Order, Strudelia, Kanria, Monix, The Federation of Osea and Yukotobonia, Alttaea, Chols Worithopia, Imperial Phoenix Terra, Neptunian Military Administration, Kriov, New American Democracy, Norgsveldet, Serkin, Concentus, Volinovia, Daenyearly, Gunov, Wakeopolis, Republoslavia, Cyrillic Peoples, Hitaria, Norna Chitya, United States of Masbate, Cacnesia, Coruh, Darkfull, Oofery, Tissandra, Modra, New Bobby, Karatol-Advenra, Tawuse, Kunstistan, Wolemoer, Bundes Republic Deutschland, New Cobastheia, From New World, Albrook, Capave, United States of Calipon, Schelemeketew, Granskau, Pizza devil cat, Chalan, Rakshuland, Order of the saint Dumas, Neldas, Farangia, Freedom Fascists, Azeel, Fontesia, Mecsherstein, Bialonia, Tennabroch, Kalaratri, An Unknown End, Universalius, The Armed Savages, West memes, Republic of New India, Faid, Moewland, The planet nation, Arunika, Nationalist Gilgeria, Ulvesogullr, Cellar Doors, Roma IV, Ad Honorem Dei, Acronis, Aklevin, ParaSymmetry, Anarchica landia, 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