by Max Barry

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 95thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 116thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 127th
The Weed-Choked Lawn of
Iron Fist Consumerists Champions of Commerce
Always fighting crime -- especially youth-related.
Influence
Apprentice
Minister of Foreign Affairs
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Map Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

A mean old man

Population36.775 billion

Capitalthe world
Leadera tired and angry old fart
Faithforgotten

Currencycolostomy bag
Animalreally old cat

The Weed-Choked Lawn of A mean old man is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by a tired and angry old fart with an iron fist, and renowned for its public floggings, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 36.775 billion geriatrics are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry, Environment, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the world. The average income tax rate is 1.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient old as hell economy, worth an astonishing 12,503 trillion colostomy bags a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 339,994 colostomy bags, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Maintaining economic growth is no laughing matter, petitioners are increasingly resorting to climbing through a tired and angry old fart's window to draw attention to their issues, politicians' financial records are locked up tighter than the nation's colostomy bag reserves, and Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. A mean old man's national animal is the really old cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is forgotten.

A mean old man is ranked 95th in the world and 3rd in The East Pacific for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 22,697.12 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.

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Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 95thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 116thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 127thLargest Insurance Industry: 165thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 210thHighest Disposable Incomes: 473rdHighest Economic Output: 678thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 727thMost Influential: 780thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 869thHighest Average Incomes: 2,050thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,060thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,433rdHighest Poor Incomes: 2,452ndMost Beautiful Environments: 2,584thLargest Populations: 2,854thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,076thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,288thTop
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Lowest Crime Rates: 3,397thBest Weather: 3,433rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3,607thLargest Agricultural Sector: 3,634thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5,328thLargest Black Market: 5,580thLargest Mining Sector: 5,624thLargest Governments: 7,679thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 8,368thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 8,827thMost Secular: 8,966thFattest Citizens: 9,964thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10,271stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 10,582ndMost Ignorant Citizens: 11,175thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 12,365thLongest Average Lifespans: 14,428thMost Patriotic: 15,345thTop
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Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 17,757thMost Valuable International Artwork: 18,809thMost Scientifically Advanced: 27,889thMost Efficient Economies: 31,650thLargest Information Technology Sector: 31,868thMost Advanced Public Transport: 32,979th
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Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 8th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 11th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 12th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 18th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 21st in the regionLargest Populations: 22nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 23rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 25th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 26th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 26th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 35th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 38th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 40th in the regionTop
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Largest Black Market: 46th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 61st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 68th in the regionMost Patriotic: 80th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 84th in the regionBest Weather: 100th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 102nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 111th in the regionLargest Governments: 158th in the regionMost Secular: 186th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 189th in the regionFattest Citizens: 192nd in the regionTop
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Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 237th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 271st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 272nd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 274th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 307th in the regionRudest Citizens: 374th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 375th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 393rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 405th in the region
No WA voting rights.

Endorsements Received: 303 » Todd McCloud, Plazland, Kelssek, ReeK, Headpat Central, Iodinia, Enlil, Amjedia, Unger under over, Abtracnt, Talitoa, Axdel, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, Aeljae, ReReReRepublic, Peatiktist, Elejamie, BearStackof2015, Roliganistan, Euricanis, Tshana, Trimmania, Davinhia, Bai Lung, Republic of Berzerkistan, Lanagon, Impia Aghte, Lyontisia, Drunken Seal Islands, Harro Waarudho, Propwash, Packilvania, Kyrtizhan, Kublam, Lantros, Kucia, Southern Yugoslavia, Islandian Free States, Aihon, Pekweng, Mundiferrum, Stellar Colonies, CheeseBurrito, Kriov, Capave, The planet nation, Nationalist Gilgeria, Ad Honorem Dei, Blobbo, and 253 others.Adolanta, Under Upper Antartica, Myehn, Sansangra, Caymarnia, Her Malue, The Atlotl Archipelago, The Soviet Texas Union, Verconia, Goodnamesarerare, AuthRight Authoritarianism, Pakitsk, Kurikia, Adinesi, Amabilis, Estande, Atrocha, Anthonyland, Santa Dystopia, United Citizens, New Gehenna, Romanoddle Republic, Emberwood Coast, Rainbow Vests, Sea Lions, New Garokirk, Jankono, Vaskeden, Azosd, Akimera, Pondingonia, Catistania, Grod Dratia, La Xinga, Roissyland, Terrabis-Seran, Royabad, Froppill, Troc, Evrigenis, Resaaria, The Nightmare and Dreams, Hunterdon, The Holy Caltro, Chinesasia, Priti Purple Wonderland, Haltyas, Island Revildor, Marrabuk, H-Zhena, Themyscyra, New Birblands, Philville2, Anglost, Crawlisle, Great Aztlatan CommonWealth, Cameronia Excellentia, Toala, Matika, Conqerica, Zukchiva, Evdon, Qpebanda, Afrikaner South Africa, Sarkos, Sevleria, AngusEssa, Free State II, Kavanos, Isualia, Cornholiolands, Washingtonian Order, Ladonatalacton, Limboese, FreedomIand, Solinarien, The Clockwork Multiverse, Republic of Priouthia, Angle Land, Treetonis, Soloriania, Leore, Chakara, Anctraziania, Forgawik, Calabo, McAncapistan, Snrubton, Duracell, Sha La La Land, Enou, New Northwall, Saint Saul and Shirley, Hashidi, Clarence-Voslage, Japan Countryhuman, Glassland, Compton-Conway, Hyenaton, Comeradia, Ubecc, Untermite, Mujistan, Oothiteria, Ridann, Bharatvarshey, Quegantordia, Mildo Tuh, Veretanasta, Tretrid, Allinburg, Brethren, Imperial Phoenix Terra, Siaram, The United Menali Confederation, The Oan Isles, Zantiom, Nunyeh, Kelbadan, King of Urbino, Hatzelia, Hansa Rostock, Britz Colo Zirsong, The United States of AfroEurasia, Schwielangen, A Slanted Black Stripe, Holy Ary Toko, Waldenes, United Order Republic, Kalaratri, Hexatombe, Jistorburg, Singapore3, Big Pennieginnieginnie, Carsama, Kluchassia, Federal Russian Republics, Piosia, Groznygrad, Azirtan, Gemma aeterna, ACRONYMs, Uor-ii, Aduain, Solemn Son, West Nagato, Rejoltance, Darorska, Holy Nazareth, Marnack Confederacy, Aurelia Federation, NewImperia, Hardyism, Talvezout, Karietown, TayLos, Jeastoleg, Naviun, Maggriststan, Pacifist Cowards, Furigard, Framtithvoor-Altijd, Indiria, Roano, Jamayqua, Iconoclassism, Marexi, South Pollana, Debluu, Heletica, The Serentian State, Dorles, Lucklife, The Arvanites of Epirus, Husseberg, Allah Szabad Akarata, New Domais, The Gashouk Peninsula, Hiltavia, Technocratic Israel, DaWu, Weird Neurodivergent Queers, Mateussino, IslandKush, Oradell, Viktrovia, Ardakoth, Quirin, Bongiya, Dremaur, Saurlandia, Salboa, Deorangg, Prylixian, TyBigistan, Merlovich, Mountain Rime, Novogardia, Lionsroar, Tea Jol, Waterfall State, Golubyacha Gromada, Ocean Waters, The North sea empire and vinland, Allied States of Osea, TeleNdanda, Mallardias, Oheia, Parisimo, Anarchia-Freedomia, Matte Perdit, NorthernStar, Femdeutschland, Krillopia, Car Tamder, The Marlands, The Supersteses, Asendavia, Leatern Narth, Shang-Zu, Decaf Coffee, Kezeun, Nachshona, Neuroma Basilea, Ferreism, Awesome Lesbianland, Sloverbia, Furry Paw Beans, 10 Wicked Wings Please, Federal Republic of the United States, The new Germanic Confederation, Dharmkshetra, Saint Berad, Maha Yantra, Confederated States of Nebulon, Garfield Republics, Visburge, Albrook, Aveloris, Carora, Brazilian Socialist Communes, Dithmeyerstan, Loreintor, Hamborn, Midysc, Xhya-zsathis 03b, Sokala, Uttawak, The Communist World Revolution, Cretox State, Nosmalisumus, Arelvanya, and Ariino.

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