The Welfarist Wardenate of Pakitsk is a titanic, genial nation, ruled by Vûlakìs Avēlôs Pârkōv with an even hand, and remarkable for its conspicuous electricity pylons, lack of airports, and soft-spoken computers. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 19.492 billion Pakotskì are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Võlatsk. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Pakatska economy, worth a remarkable 6,334 trillion danirtsks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 324,977 danirtsks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Bald-headed monks sit around the National Meditation Park looking smugly content, a breakdown in Westphalian sovereignty has left political scientists dazed and confused, therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads, and a mushroom a day keeps the sadness away. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Pakitsk's national animal is the marmot, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Welfarism.

Pakitsk is ranked 13^th in the world and 1^st in The East Pacific for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 434.01 on the Kitten Softness Rating.