The Free Land of Kalaratri is a titanic, genial nation, ruled by Stjepan Filipović with an even hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, sprawling nuclear power plants, and unlimited-speed roads. The compassionate, cheerful population of 16.327 billion Kalaratrianis enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Užupis. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Kalaratrianian economy, worth a remarkable 4,000 trillion Kelantanese dinars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 245,026 Kelantanese dinars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Jaw strain is an increasingly common ailment, third world countries are rich in "I Love Užupis" t-shirts, gymnasts are in awe at the amount of hoops army applicants must jump through, and a paperwork error has naval privateers being directed to attack land-locked nations. Crime is totally unknown. Kalaratri's national animal is the Rattenkönig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Eternalux.

Kalaratri is ranked 2,333^rd in the world and 36^th in The East Pacific for Highest Poor Incomes, with 206,152.7 Standard Monetary Units.