The Warmongering Scaredy Cats of Pacifist Cowards is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by a drunk northerner with a fair hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, national health service, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 21.482 billion Cowards are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Peaceful Glade. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Cowardly economy, worth a remarkable 6,224 trillion shiny things a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 289,775 shiny things, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets, self-driving cars are unpopular due to suspicion that they murder their passengers, the words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence, and schoolboys who turn to watch pretty girls go by are given detention. Crime is totally unknown. Pacifist Cowards's national animal is the peaceful herbivore, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Opiates.

Pacifist Cowards is ranked 535^th in the world and 10^th in The East Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 490 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.