The Holy Empire of The Vangards of Discourse is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Heap Big Boss with a fair hand, and renowned for its hatred of cheese, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 22.312 billion Vangards of Discourseans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 98.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Vangards of Discoursean economy, worth a remarkable 2,663 trillion Vanfulersens a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 119,397 Vanfulersens, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

All new "spies" are fifteen-year-old acne-ridden kids on computers, decongestants have replaced Vanfulersens in street transactions, The Pipe Bomb Makers' Pop-Up Book can be found in preschool libraries, and stone wrist watches that weigh 20lb are the latest trend. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Vangards of Discourse's national animal is the Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Vangards of Discourse is ranked 275,390^th in the world and 5,126^th in the South Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -283.89 on the Scary Big Number Scale.