The Kingdom of Lambwe Valley is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by O'SirK Lam with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 5.454 billion LamVas have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mulo. The average income tax rate is 45.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Lambwe Valleyian economy, worth 659 trillion pesas a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 120,858 pesas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea, town nameplates frequently raise giggles from passing tourists, dessert dishes make up the Lambwe Valleyian breakfast menu, and a lot of number one hits are straight cover versions. Crime is totally unknown. Lambwe Valley's national animal is the impala, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Lambwe Valley is ranked 264,390^th in the world and 5,393^rd in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -208.5 on the Scary Big Number Scale.