The Constitutional Monarchy of Girvage is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by King George VIII with an even hand, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, unlimited-speed roads, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, devout population of 7.51 billion Girvageans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Winston. The average income tax rate is 67.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Girvagean economy, worth a remarkable 1,115 trillion Pounds a year, is dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 148,537 Pounds, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

It's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves, politicians tend to jump ship to whichever party is currently leading in the polls, metal detectors have been banned after a bottle cap caused a riot at the beach, and denied drugs and entertainment the nation's youth are taking to petty crime to alleviate their boredom. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Girvage's national animal is the Turkey, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christian Puritanism.

Girvage is ranked 15,000^th in the world and 61^st in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring 86.33 on the Scary Big Number Scale.