The Republic of Etnon is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Peigi Åland with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, complete lack of prisons, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.087 billion Etnonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded, outspoken government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Santana. The average income tax rate is 96.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Etnonian economy, worth 836 trillion Euros a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 103,426 Euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It's often raining men (hallelujah) in Santana, a primitive society is being eroded as its youth flock to the modern world, the seventh son of a seventh son is fated to be a millionaire, and cheese lovers have a case of the bleus. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Etnon's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Etnon is ranked 5,870^th in the world and 143^rd in Europe for Most Developed, scoring 93.89 on the Human Development Index.