The Bird-Loving Republic of Salarnsia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by James Everest Jr with a fair hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, daily referendums, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 5.829 billion Salarnsians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Brexton. The average income tax rate is 22.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Salarnsian economy, worth 950 trillion Ralks a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 163,055 Ralks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

The SWAT team always rings twice, bouncers at the door of the sweet shop warn five-year-olds not to cause trouble, tourists visit Salarnsia to mass-moon Salarnsian politicians, and religious turf wars have caused frustrated police to pray for divine intervention. Crime is totally unknown. Salarnsia's national animal is the Bird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Salarnsia is ranked 7,546^th in the world and 157^th in Europe for Highest Food Quality, scoring 179.75 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.