The Republic of Coltslavia is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 6.51 billion Coltslavians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized, liberal government is primarily concerned with Healthcare, although Education and Defense are also considered important, while Welfare receives no funds. The average income tax rate is 34.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Coltslavian economy, worth 485 trillion deniers a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 74,534 deniers, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Guide dogs for the blind have been seen using government websites, from the highest mountain to the deepest cave - one can always count on finding a good cell signal in Coltslavia, airplane passengers who purchase "basic economy" tickets are often assigned seats in the lavatory, and the government pours millions of deniers into rehabilitation programs annually. Crime is totally unknown. Coltslavia's national animal is the falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Coltslavia is ranked 132,096^th in the world and 2,870^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 62.54 law-abiding acts per hour.