The Concord Republic of Safiloa is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Soakini Kavosana with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, national health service, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 11.468 billion Safiloans love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Environment, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ponaiga. The average income tax rate is 94.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Safiloan economy, worth a remarkable 1,216 trillion Gold Lulu ȴs a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 106,078 Gold Lulu ȴs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The main interest rates change daily based on the latest news story, businesses are forced to bring all work back within the nation's borders, a rebrand a day keeps the debt collectors away, and foreigners can tell the popularity of Safiloan landmarks by the size of their ash dunes. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Safiloa's national animal is the Crab-Consuming Bat, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Mazdakite Zoroastrian.

Safiloa is ranked 306,398^th in the world and 263^rd in Forest for Fattest Citizens, with 2.08 Obesity Rate.