The Republic of Zolistan is a mammoth, cultured nation, renowned for its museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate population of 9.118 billion Zolistanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 71.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Zolistanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,566 trillion Usques a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 171,832 Usques, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

People talk about things being better when men were men, women across the country are tying the knot, the government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region, and old dogs don't have to learn new tricks but they have to prove they haven't forgotten old ones. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zolistan's national animal is the turtle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Zolistan is ranked 22,323^rd in the world and 370^th in Europe for Most Cultured, scoring 85 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.