The Republic of Syaftyn is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by President Syaf with an even hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, frequent executions, and vat-grown people. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 3.774 billion Syaftynians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fatin Miryokuteki. The average income tax rate is 21.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Syaftynian economy, worth 895 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 237,387 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.7 times as much as the poorest.

Party leaders aid loyal supporters in opposition strongholds with a simple "Good luck" message, aspiring musicians couldn't give away their music if they tried, President Syaf can cry on demand, and almost every singles' party has a clergy and courtesans theme. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Syaftyn's national animal is the Cinnamoroll, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Syaftyn is ranked 4,846^th in the world and 15^th in Starlight for Most Cultured, scoring 162 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.