The Magistracy of Qwertian is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Septimius with an even hand, and renowned for its national health service, strictly enforced bedtime, and compulsory military service. The compassionate, devout population of 3.244 billion Qwertianians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gliese City. The average income tax rate is 96.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Qwertianian economy, worth 576 trillion Turtles a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 177,852 Turtles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Neon signs promoting safe driving often distract drivers, failed genetic experiments wreak havoc as they roam the countryside, 'The Anti-Government Hour' is a popular programme on many of Qwertian's radio stations, and betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Qwertian's national animal is the Turtle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is No official religion.

Qwertian is ranked 309,543^rd in the world and 358^th in Christians for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -18.69 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.