The Eight Provinces of Zeswela is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Peter Zeswela with an even hand, and renowned for its digital currency, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 3.631 billion Zeswelans enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kuyburgh. The average income tax rate is 86.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Zeswelan economy, worth 428 trillion Zeswela Dollars a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 118,138 Zeswela Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Every new building project has to undergo a five-year environmental impact study before it can go ahead, stranded mountaineers can watch livestreamed footage of their rescues, baby boys who pick up pink crayons are sent to a psychiatric ward, and 4-year-olds studying for their mathematics exams are anxious that they will be unemployable in adulthood if they fail. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zeswela's national animal is the Pigeon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Atheism.

Zeswela is ranked 276,429^th in the world and 3,574^th in the West Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -291.54 on the Scary Big Number Scale.