The Empire of Cassinea is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Johnny Bingus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 8.503 billion Cassineans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Anvil. The average income tax rate is 78.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Cassinean economy, worth a remarkable 1,222 trillion Crowns a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 143,754 Crowns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Prison is a nightmare, kids laugh off vandalism and arson as "just fun", conspiracy theorists allege Anvil's new subway map resembles Satanic symbols, and arms manufacturing has been put at an arm's length. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cassinea's national animal is the Crow, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Bingustry.

Cassinea is ranked 308,929^th in the world and 95^th in Conch Kingdom for Nicest Citizens, with 0.74 average smiles per day.