The Armed Reich of Svarttjern is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Kaiser Spock with an iron fist, and renowned for its public floggings, national health service, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 33.172 billion Svarttjernians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Healthcare, Education, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heimdal. The average income tax rate is 18.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Svarttjernian economy, worth a remarkable 6,662 trillion Reichsmarks a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 200,850 Reichsmarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children are terrified that the 'flying police monster' will come to take them away in the night, lending money has become a major liability, the richest individuals apparently buy nothing but noodles and toilet paper, and kids looking for shark teeth have become ancient history. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Svarttjern's national animal is the Raven, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is agnosticism.

Svarttjern is ranked 275,889^th in the world and 196^th in Fifth Empire for Fattest Citizens, with 6.4 Obesity Rate.