The Third Empire of Eritria is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Emperor Matthew Palaiologos with an iron fist, and renowned for its aversion to nipples, ubiquitous missile silos, and compulsory military service. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 3.012 billion Eritrians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Athens. The average income tax rate is 92.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Eritrian economy, worth 521 trillion Drachmaes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 173,148 Drachmaes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Heretic deviants are free to practice their deviance outside of Eritria, police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds, doctors prescribe videos of political debates to patients with insomnia, and bored politicians often entertain themselves with games of Simon during important votes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eritria's national animal is the Phoenix, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christian Orthodox.

Eritria is ranked 7,386^th in the world and 205^th in the South Pacific for Highest Food Quality, scoring 181.05 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.