The Grand Duchy of Woloni is a huge, safe nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, restrictive gun laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-working, cynical, devout population of 888 million Wolonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Northwol. The average income tax rate is 29.5%.

The Wolonian economy, worth 39.3 trillion fertis a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Furniture Restoration, and Soda Sales. Average income is 44,204 fertis, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

The Northwol XV Regiment (aka "The Goat Starers") have yet to win a battle, adding salt and pepper to food is enough to raise suspicion of treason, Woloni has designated Northwol as its capital city, and scummy-looking teenagers outside government buildings sell bureaucrats spoofed ShortTok accounts. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Woloni's national animal is the wild dog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Woloni is ranked 300,549^th in the world and 532^nd in Starlight for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector, scoring -11.14 on the Charon Conveyancy Index.