The United Kingdom of Futuo is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Arfur Daley with an even hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, infamous sell-swords, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 17.29 billion Futuoans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fellatio City. The average income tax rate is 1.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Futuoan economy, worth a remarkable 3,772 trillion quid a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 218,206 quid, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Production of license plates has dropped as prisoners' hands are far too greasy to operate machinery, political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from Arfur Daley's throne, it is said that a Futuoan woman's work is never done, and a politician who is photographed pulling a funny face while eating can say goodbye to their credibility. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Futuo's national animal is the Shark, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Futuo is ranked 283,534^th in the world and 3,681^st in the West Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -393.87 on the Scary Big Number Scale.