The Community of Equability is a massive, safe nation, ruled by John Plaseholder with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, soft-spoken computers, and state-planned economy. The compassionate population of 1.777 billion Equabilityians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Utopia. The average income tax rate is 96.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Equabilityian economy, worth 295 trillion Stamps a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 166,569 Stamps, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Pipe Bomb Makers' Pop-Up Book can be found in preschool libraries, a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, social networking sites have discussion groups devoted to planning terrorist attacks, and asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Equability's national animal is the Meerkat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Equability is ranked 328,108^th in the world and 465^th in The Communist Bloc for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 18.35 on the Bus Surprisal Index.