The Glorious Empire of Burning Pants is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The King of Braves with a fair hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, irreverence towards religion, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 26.651 billion Burner of Pants live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken individuals prioritizes Education, with Industry, Healthcare, and Social Policy also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of adventure. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Pants-Burner economy, worth an astonishing 10,059 trillion G-Stones a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 377,444 G-Stones, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Nervous homeowners have been blamed for rising death rates amongst carol singers and locksmiths, the only place where one can see the Pants-Burner cherry tree is in a museum, legislators must raise their hands if they want to speak, and belief that The King of Braves is a lizard-person from outer space has reached an all-time high. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Burning Pants's national animal is the Fighting Mechanoid, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Oath Sworn Through Courage.

Burning Pants is ranked 92^nd in the world and 10^th in Lazarus for Fattest Citizens, with 99.01 Obesity Rate.