The Holy Imperialist Xicado of Ossela is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Xico II with an iron fist, and notable for its smutty television, lack of airports, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 3.225 billion Osselenses are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Industry, although Environment, Defense, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ruselos. The average income tax rate is 37.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Osselense economy, worth 358 trillion Sardinhas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 111,286 Sardinhas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

All transmission towers have been temporarily diverted in order to establish dialogue with a comet, the government takes agricultural advice from a wasp-themed superhero, commercial jingles have been ham-handedly forced into world renowned symphonies, and the government is under the thumb of countless special interests. Crime is moderate, probably because of the absence of a police force. Ossela's national animal is the Black Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Ossela is ranked 137,196^th in the world and 79^th in Portugal for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,531.56 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.