The Dictatorship of Nookie Island is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Nookie with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, triple-decker prams, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 21.069 billion Nookienseses are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nookie City. The average income tax rate is 93.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Nookie Islandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,905 trillion Escudoes a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Arms Manufacturing industry. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 90,446 Escudoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's only university is the School of Hard Knocks, the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Nookie City, babies living in poverty are told to take responsibility for their own fortunes, and families returning from international vacations are unable to get their children back into the country. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nookie Island's national animal is the Pig, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cristianismo.

Nookie Island is ranked 282,462^nd in the world and 148^th in Portugal for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -11.66 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.