The United Federal Republics of Ham Federation is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Karlotta with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, pith helmet sales, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 11.679 billion Hamians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Flemery. The average income tax rate is 90.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hamian economy, worth a remarkable 1,805 trillion Doll Hairs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 154,630 Doll Hairs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

CEOs can't hear the term 'Fire Sale' without bursting into tears, Karlotta's peyote-induced "let's all just be friends" speech is trending world-wide, attempts to inform people about their unclaimed property are often mistaken for telephone scams, and the government funds large training centres to turn Hindslavic Hogs into functioning members of society. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ham Federation's national animal is the Hindslavic Hog, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Ham Federation is ranked 12,312^th in the world and 286^th in The North Pacific for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 8,925.13 on the Gilded Widget Scale.