The Kingdom of Mallaynn is a very large, efficient nation, renowned for its disturbing lack of elderly people, frequent executions, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 402 million Mallaynnians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, although Defense, Administration, and Spirituality are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nova Ravenna. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.3%.

The very strong Mallaynnian economy, worth 30.7 trillion Marks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 76,349 Marks, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

Mallaynn shot first, contestants on Mallaynn's Got Talent are screened by the government to make sure that they actually have talent, the state considers itself the 'third parent' of every child in the nation, and 4-year-olds studying for their mathematics exams are anxious that they will be unemployable in adulthood if they fail. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mallaynn's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Mallaynn is ranked 221,977^th in the world and 163^rd in Fifth Empire for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -3.07 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.