by Max Barry

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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 823rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,768thMost Secular: 1,842nd
The Free Democratic State of
Iron Fist Consumerists Champions of Commerce
Protect thy ears
Imperator Joe Average XIII
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Political Freedom

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Ear Exploder 9000

Population1.811 billion

LeaderImperator Joe Average XIII

AnimalJoeaveragian Pike

The Free Democratic State of Ear Exploder 9000 is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Imperator Joe Average XIII with an iron fist, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, free-roaming dinosaurs, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 1.811 billion Earexplodians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cacophonia. The average income tax rate is 75.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Earexplodian economy, worth 312 trillion Decibels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 172,739 Decibels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire, organisations with 800 in their phone number are often raided by special forces, terrified tympanists are finding themselves on the front lines armed only with kettledrums, and military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ear Exploder 9000's national animal is the Joeaveragian Pike, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Joeism.

Ear Exploder 9000 is ranked 165,109th in the world and 1,267th in 10000 Islands for Smartest Citizens, with 24.61 quips per hour.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 823rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,768thMost Secular: 1,842ndMost Patriotic: 1,888thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,330thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 3,632ndMost Influential: 3,828thMost Avoided: 4,368thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,191stMost Corrupt Governments: 6,192ndLargest Mining Sector: 6,463rdLargest Black Market: 6,722ndMost Subsidized Industry: 7,235thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,256thHighest Poor Incomes: 9,138thHighest Average Incomes: 10,809thTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 14,451stMost Armed: 14,494thMost Efficient Economies: 14,657thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 15,801stMost Conservative: 18,074thMost Authoritarian: 18,173rdMost Developed: 18,490thLargest Governments: 19,018thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,034thHighest Average Tax Rates: 20,872ndLongest Average Lifespans: 22,595th
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 5th in the regionTop
Most Patriotic: 18th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 18th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 31st in the regionMost Secular: 44th in the regionMost Avoided: 55th in the regionLargest Black Market: 57th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 65th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 69th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 70th in the regionTop
Most Authoritarian: 89th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 89th in the regionMost Conservative: 90th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 102nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 125th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 140th in the regionMost Armed: 145th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity: