The Free Democratic State of Ear Exploder 9000 is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Imperator Joe Average XIII with an iron fist, and notable for its prohibition of alcohol, free-roaming dinosaurs, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 1.811 billion Earexplodians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cacophonia. The average income tax rate is 75.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Earexplodian economy, worth 312 trillion Decibels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 172,739 Decibels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire, organisations with 800 in their phone number are often raided by special forces, terrified tympanists are finding themselves on the front lines armed only with kettledrums, and military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ear Exploder 9000's national animal is the Joeaveragian Pike, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Joeism.

Ear Exploder 9000 is ranked 165,109^th in the world and 1,267^th in 10000 Islands for Smartest Citizens, with 24.61 quips per hour.