The Most Earexplodian Realm of Ear Exploder 9000 is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Emperor Joseph Average XVIII with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, soft-spoken computers, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 10.94 billion Earexplodians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cacophonia. The average income tax rate is 95.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Earexplodian economy, worth a remarkable 3,452 trillion decibels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 315,590 decibels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship, foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security, foreign leaders who don't applaud Emperor Joseph Average XVIII's speeches are regarded as enemies of Ear Exploder 9000, and Emperor Joseph Average XVIII's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ear Exploder 9000's national animal is the Joeaveragian Pike, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Joeism.

Ear Exploder 9000 is ranked 147,585^th in the world and 73^rd in Refugia for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 790.26 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.