The Epic Card of DiRito-Opolis is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Food and Beverage Director with an even hand, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, smutty television, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 20.272 billion gamblers have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Industry, with Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The DiRito Racetrack. The average income tax rate is 1.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient gambling economy, worth a remarkable 4,665 trillion Casino Chips a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Uranium Mining, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 230,131 Casino Chips, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Adjacent suburbs build competing earthworks to force the other neighbourhood to flood first, the tightness of border controls in DiRito-Opolis leave a little to be desired, the government proudly leads the world in environmental regulators per capita, and the nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. DiRito-Opolis's national animal is the Horse in the 8th race, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is 25 Leg Parlay.

DiRito-Opolis is ranked 45,236^th in the world and 24^th in Ridgefield for Smartest Citizens, with 46.12 quips per hour.