The Sublime Zsardom of Daulmark is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Zsar Johannes-Ottokar IV with an iron fist, and remarkable for its national health service, public floggings, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, cheerful population of 13.906 billion Daulmarkians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Öslitz. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Daulmarkian economy, worth a remarkable 4,013 trillion Kuras a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 288,604 Kuras, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Immersive video game experiences are interrupted by incessant disclaimer pop-ups, insanely good theatre productions face government censorship, the law forbids arson, murder, and low-quality cheese, and Zsar Johannes-Ottokar IV's exquisite office door is replaced monthly due to angry petitioners. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Daulmark's national animal is the Osprey, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Sancticism.

Daulmark is ranked 1,665^th in the world and 5^th in Commonwealth of Sovereign States for Smartest Citizens, with 212.21 quips per hour.