The United Socialist States of Portusgal is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by João with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.988 billion Portuguese are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lisboa. The average income tax rate is 87.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Portuguese economy, worth 168 trillion euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Trout Farming. Average income is 84,697 euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Older citizens lament over the loss of law and order, schoolchildren are taught to boo and hiss at João's name, only clowns with PhDs from clown college can advise João on Portusgal's coulrophobia epidemic, and the nation has returned to more conventional warfare to slaughter its enemies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Portusgal's national animal is the Dog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Portusgal is ranked 171,141^st in the world and 94^th in Portugal for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 639.93 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.