The Holy Imperialist Xicado of Ossela is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Xico II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, anti-smoking policies, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 3.114 billion Osselenses are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Industry, although Environment, Defense, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ruselos. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 32.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Osselense economy, worth 354 trillion Sardinhas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 113,708 Sardinhas, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 344,212 per year while the poor average 29,228, a ratio of 11.8 to 1.

All transmission towers have been temporarily diverted in order to establish dialogue with a comet, the government takes agricultural advice from a wasp-themed superhero, commercial jingles have been ham-handedly forced into world renowned symphonies, and the government is under the thumb of countless special interests. Crime is a problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Ossela's national animal is the Black Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Ossela is ranked 13,124^th in the world and 11^th in Portugal for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 76,753.17 Standard Monetary Units.