The Kingdom of Philippinessss is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its enslaved workforce, pith helmet sales, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 485 million Philippinessssians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 51.6%.

The powerhouse Philippinessssian economy, worth 42.2 trillion francs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Pizza Delivery, Retail, Automobile Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 87,077 francs, with the richest citizens earning 9.2 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians are often seen attending regional history classes at primary schools within their constituencies, the nation was recently voted "most likely to betray its allies", having skeletons in one's closet is no longer just a macabre idiom, and the central government is trying to keep things flowing. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Philippinessss's national animal is the Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Philippinessss is ranked 80,996^th in the world and 1,792^nd in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 68.4 law-abiding acts per hour.