The Constitutional Monarchy of ZitKaizer is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Unychtosh with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, pith helmet sales, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 3.291 billion ZitKaizerians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Reynhail. The average income tax rate is 79.8%.

The frighteningly efficient ZitKaizerian economy, worth 418 trillion kaizers a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 127,214 kaizers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Newspapers are celebrating Unychtosh saving over a million cats from trees, politicians are often seen with soldiers pointing guns at their heads, protesters are up in arms over new nuclear power stations, and children grow up long before the paperwork for their lemonade stands can be sorted out. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. ZitKaizer's national animal is the wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is REIH WOUNDERHALIS.

ZitKaizer is ranked 274,940^th in the world and 10,057^th in Osiris for Most Primitive, scoring -275.5 on the Scary Big Number Scale.