The Holy Eco-Syndicalist Union of Safiloa is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by The Gohulian Council with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, daily referendums, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 6.321 billion Safiloans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ponaiga. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Safiloan economy, worth 998 trillion Candy Cane Lulu ȴs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 157,945 Candy Cane Lulu ȴs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field, a sudden shout of "surprise!" does not herald a party for teachers, any citizen who cries is immediately assigned a psychiatrist, and the well-to-do in Democratic Socialist Assembly are never on time for important appointments. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Safiloa's national animal is the Nugu Gondwanatherian, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Mazdakism.

Safiloa is ranked 2,678^th in the world and 7^th in Democratic Socialist Assembly for Lowest Crime Rates, with 134.14 law-abiding acts per hour.