The Grand Marquisat of Northshires is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Hull XIX de Northshire with an even hand, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 5.229 billion Northshiresians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rauzan. The average income tax rate is 92.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Northshiresian economy, worth a remarkable 1,121 trillion Northshiresian Telrions a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 214,484 Northshiresian Telrions, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government is washing its hands of alleged corruption, escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, state dairy cow's milk is a shear-thickening fluid that can stop small-caliber bullets, and motorists must pay to enter inner-cities during peak hours. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Northshires's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Atheism.

Northshires is ranked 33,179^th in the world and 123^rd in Conch Kingdom for Safest, scoring 108 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.