The ☭ Communist Grand Duchy of Zircania is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Garmatr Zirganish with an iron fist, and renowned for its national health service, frequent executions, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 3.365 billion Zircanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Administration, although Education, Law & Order, and Welfare are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jeva. The average income tax rate is 74.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Zircanian economy, worth 390 trillion Zirgmünzers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 116,078 Zirgmünzers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Large wigs have been banned for having racist implications, every computer glitch triggers an immediate counter-espionage response, the armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists, and soldiers on first dates introduce themselves only by their ranks and serial numbers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zircania's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Messianicism.

Zircania is ranked 310,236^th in the world and 1,223^rd in Europeia for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 22.18 on the Bus Surprisal Index.