The Total Eclipse of the Heart of Val Sturgeon is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its state-planned economy, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.448 billion Val Sturgeonians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government prioritizes Welfare, although Education, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mulberry Castle. The average income tax rate is 32.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Val Sturgeonian economy, worth 183 trillion deniers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Tourism, Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 33,658 deniers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Millions of Val Sturgeonians are excellent swimmers, biology and religious education classes have recently been merged, bike rage is all the rage, and beating a dead horse is a scientific endeavor. Crime is totally unknown. Val Sturgeon's national animal is the Moon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Val Sturgeon is ranked 96,296^th in the world and 4,749^th in Lazarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 100 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.